One girl and one boy is just not enough.
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
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