Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
