is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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