fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Randomize
