Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Randomize
