Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
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