when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
