pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
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