if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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