Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
