I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
