Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
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He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
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Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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