ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Randomize
