have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
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