I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
