By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Randomize
