A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
