Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
