How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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