I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
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I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
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