This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
The police scanner is talking about you again....
is this the sara with the beer cane?
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
