what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Even my vagina gasped.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
