You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Randomize
