You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
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