I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
