i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
Randomize
