girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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