I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
