If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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