he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
