hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
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