Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
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