You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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