I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
