What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
