I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Randomize
