at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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