Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
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