pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize