how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Randomize
