Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Randomize
