he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Randomize
