How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
I want to walk on stilts...naked
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.