I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking