you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
this must be what syphilis tastes like
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
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