i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
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I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
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We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.