I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
Randomize