You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Randomize
