white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Randomize
