allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
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