i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Randomize
