This is not my ceiling
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
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