You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize