watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
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