Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
