she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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