Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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