last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
They took my balls.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
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