Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
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the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
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I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
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